We certainly didn’t intend on having an English weekend, let alone a quintessential high brow upper class one. It just fell into place by sheer coincidence. This actually happened a week ago (July 27-29) but we hadn’t had a chance to get around to writing about it until now.
It started on Friday the 27th of July when we had dinner at the Michelin Star rated Savoy Grill (owned by Gordon Ramsay) located within the Savoy Hotel, which is yet another famous London Hotel of historical significance. We had intended to go “cheap” by booking online through toptable.co.uk, which we use quite often to search for good deals at restaurants.
This time, they had a “deal” – 3 courses for £30, which is half the price of what they usually charge…or so we thought. One thing I’m starting to notice about toptable is that in a lot of cases, they simply advertise the existing deal at the restaurant online and the “discount” is in no way exclusive to people who book on toptable (yes in some cases you get a free glass of champagne if you book through them). We found this out when we got to the restaurant. No, not free champagne. Just the pre-theatre menu for £30 or the full menu for £60. This pre-theatre menu was especially threadbare (even more so than the usual pre-theatre menus at other fine dining restaurants). So we decided to splurge and go the full menu.
It was obviously very nice. If it wasn’t we would have had something to say about the exorbitant amount we had to pay. I will say one thing though…we’ve had better food in some of Sydney’s fine dining restaurants. Now we haven’t had a meal in too many of London’s (or even Europe’s) fine dining places, but if this is anything to go by, you’ll be hard pressed to find better value for money than one gets in Sydney’s fine dining restaurants.
From July 28 to September 28 each year, Buckingham Palace opens its doors to the public…for a price. We’d been earlier in the year but only looked from the outside. Mimi had booked the tickets online (go here to book them if you happen to be in town) in advance to ensure we got in and could plan for it in advance. We bought the Royal Day Out tickets which covers the State Rooms, the Royal Mews and the Queen’s Gallery.
You can actually buy tickets at the door, but you may not necessarily get the viewing time you want. For example, you may turn up at 9 to buy tickets but they’ll tell you that you can’t enter the Queen’s Gallery until 11:30, which means you’ll find yourself with a few spare hours for which you have to find something else to do (Knightsbridge is just round the corner and Regent and Oxford Streets are a short walk for those retail therapy inclined). Buying them online also means that you can go visit the State Rooms and Royal Mews whenever you want as long as you do it on the day and before closing time. If you buy tickets there, they actually give you an entrance time. The whole thing took us about half a day. We started at 9:30am and were done by lunchtime. I won’t go into too many details, but here are my very brief impressions of each:
- Queen’s Gallery – If you’ve been to a large art gallery or museum, it’s not particularly impressive. It’s rather small. The most impressive thing about it is that all the art is owned by a single person (the Queen).
- Royal Mews – Bunch of stables, horses and royal carriages. The carriages are the ones you see on TV during official events (e.g. royal weddings), so they are very ornate and impressive. Not much else there, unless you are equine inclined.
- State Rooms – Now this was impressive. The palace has 4 wings. The public rooms (i.e. the state rooms), staff quarters, offices and royal residences. The tour only takes you through the public areas, but they are mighty impressive. We weren’t allowed to take photos but take a look at the website to get an idea, then multiply that effect ten-fold. It’s probably not as grand or historic looking as some of the other castles around Europe, but Buckingham Palace isn’t a castle. It’s just a REALLY BIG HOUSE in the middle of London with REALLY EXPENSIVE fittings, furniture, antiques and historical artifacts.

On to Sunday 29th July. Some of our friends had decided that they wanted to experience one of the most English of sports in the world (even though it was first played in Persia). One usually only played by royal families and nobility. By “experience” I mean from a spectator’s point of view. To actually play this sport, you need to be from a well-to-do family and also be able to ride a horse (and do it very well). If you haven’t guessed it, I’m talking about Polo. The sport where grown men chase a little white ball with stick-like implements (yeah I know they are called mallets) while riding horses. If you’ve ever watched under 8s junior soccer (where all the kids from both teams crowd around the ball and chase it wherever it goes), imagine them on horses and chasing the ball with sticks. I’m probably showing my Polo-ignorance with my comments, but I’m in no hurry to try to understand this so-called sport.
The event we were actually attending was the Cartier International Polo Tournament at Guards Polo Club. The initial plan was to book grandstand tickets for £30 (if memory serves me correctly) but they were sold out by the time we got around to it. So we decided to have a picnic and watch from the standing areas. In hindsight, it was a good thing we didn’t buy tickets. The view was fine from where we were.
Getting there was a story in itself. According to the tournament website, there are various ways to get there:
Public Transport
By Rail: Windsor & Eton Riverside Station from Waterloo – approx 3.7 miles from Gate R (Rangers) Sunningdale Station from Waterloo – approx 2.2 miles from Gate B (Blacknest) Egham Station from Waterloo – approx 4.5 miles from Gate B (Blacknest) Windsor Central Station via Slough from Paddington – approx 3.7 miles from Gate R (Rangers) A taxi will then be required to get to Guards Polo Club.
By Air: Heathrow Airport (10 miles drive)
By Helicopter: Please call Coworth Park on 01344875155 for permission to land. Coworth Park is 5 minutes away from the event by car.
The main thing I want to point out is the last one. Helicopter?! If the fact that the major sponsor is Cartier isn’t enough of an indication at the level of pretentious crap we’re dealing with here, then the helicopter should do it. So because our helicopter was being serviced and Richard Branson wasn’t available to loan us his, we went for the train + taxi option.
We took the train from London Paddington to Windsor and Eton Central. The same Windsor where the castle is and the same Eton as the Eton College where Princes William and Harry attended school. From there, we were supposed to have taxis booked to get to the grounds. Long story short, they didn’t show despite repeated efforts by the girls to chase them up. Apparently there was a huge traffic jam getting into the grounds and leaving the grounds, so all the taxi companies had over-booked themselves. We weren’t the only ones. There were countless others trying to get to the grounds. You could tell because they were all dressed up like they were going to the races (yeah, there’s a dress code as well).
We eventually found a dodgy cab driver (they don’t only exist in Asia, there are lots here in London too) willing to take us to the grounds for a negotiated fee. We bargained him down from £40 to £25 (we later found out that other people got cabs in for £15). The problem was that there were too many of us to fit into the one cab, so the rest went while Mimi and I waited for another cab (we were a little late, so it was only fair that the others went first). No cab came so the same one that took the first lot of us came back. Along the way, he stopped by the taxi rank and picked up 2 random people. In the end he charged us £10 each (£40 for him, but slightly cheaper for us overall). On the way to the ground, one of our friends called to tell us to tell the driver to drop us nearer to the ground. Apparently the reason he managed to come back to get us so quickly was because he had a “super secret” way into the grounds. What he didn’t tell us was that the “super secret” way stopped a long way outside the ground because they were only allowing a single path in and this was jammed for miles. He assured us it was only a short walk. How wrong he was. The others had asked one of the “car ushers” how long the walk was. Each one said 1.5 miles…and they were standing roughly 200 metres from each other. Eventually they stopped asking and just walked. In heels. I was wearing my leather work shoes so it wasn’t exactly comfortable either. Luckily Mimi was wearing relatively low heels so she didn’t get bogged down in the mud (or horse S$*#) along the way.
My thought processes on the walk in went something like this:
“This sucks. I should have stayed at the station and gone to Windsor Castle for the day”.
“BMW”
“Jaguar”
“Are Mimi’s heels stuck in the mud yet? No. Keep walking.”
“BMW”
“Non-dodgy Taxi”
“Mercedes”
“Ooh, Ford”
“Are we there yet?”
“BMW”
“Audi”
“Lexus”
“Limousine”
“Are Mimi’s heels stuck in the mud yet? No. Keep walking.”
“Non-dodgy Taxi”
“Mercedes”
“Porsche”
“Ooh, Toyota”
“Porsche”
“Lamborghini”
“Watch out for the horse S*&$”.
“BMW”
“Ferrari”
“What are these idiots in the cars staring at?”
“Oh, the fools walking along the road.”
“Hey hang on…we’re the fools they’re staring at!”
“Lexus”
“Mercedes”
“Oh nice. More horse S*$&”.
“Lamborghini”
“Non-dodgy Taxi”
“Are Mimi’s heels stuck in the mud yet? No. Keep walking.”
“Porsche”
“Are we there yet”
“Wonder if that nice couple will give us a ride on their horses”
“Oh look, other fools walking”
“Limousine”
“Lamborghini”
“Porsche”
“BMW”
“Mercedes”
“Where’s a frigging helicopter when you need one?”
“Is that car usher laughing at us?”
“Where are the others? They can’t have walked that much faster than us. They’re in heels for goodness sake!”
“BMW”
“Mercedes”
“Lexus”
“Are we there yet?”
“I don’t believe I’m walking all this way to see a frigging Polo Match.”
You get the idea. About an hour later (I’m not exaggerating), we got to the car park. Yeah, the car park. Not the grounds. We could see the grounds though, so that was a good sign. As we walked through the car park, we saw lots of people having picnics by their cars. Many had pitched tents, were dressed in their Sunday best and chugging down on their French Champagne. We just kept walking. We eventually found our friends, who had pitched themselves just off to the side of the field right next to a bunch of Aussies, a bunch of New Zealanders, 2 American girls reading the latest Harry Potter book and another bunch of Aussies. Hardly a British accent in sight. I think they were all in the Cartier hospitality tent. Either that or the Audi hospitality tent. Or perhaps they were still having picnics next to their over-priced cars. Trust a bunch of us Aussies and New Zealanders to be roughing it out in the cheap seats (i.e. free).
The atmosphere was very much like a horse race. Very well dressed people doing one of 3 things. Getting drunk, getting bored or getting picked up. It was a veritable meat market for the rich and well-to-do. From where I was sitting, it looked like the desperate and dateless ball for pretentious rich people. The Polo match was just background noise, not the centrepiece. In fact the 2 American girls next to us reading the Harry Potter books did not once get up off the ground to look at what was happening on the field. It was as if they went on a picnic in a nice area to read their books in peace and all these pretentious people decided to have a party and hold a Polo match right next to them. It was more fun watching what people were doing than actually paying attention to the match. I saw people in the stands falling asleep, almost falling out of their chairs, getting up and leaving to go to the port-a-loos, or to get a drink…others sitting there talking to each other oblivious to the fact that there were a bunch of guys on horses chasing a ball around with sticks. Oh, did I mention the bunch of rich kids sitting in the stands throwing food at people in the crowd? Funny to watch. Not funny when one of the projectiles almost hit us (no hard feelings kids – you kept me amused).
We did do the halftime divot stomping that is traditional at all Polo matches. This is where the crowd walks onto the field during the interval to fill in all the holes dug up by all these darn horses running around. Mimi and one of the other friends walked into each other and spilled wine all over her top and in the process ruined it. She was not a happy camper when she couldn’t wash the stain off when we got back…and an even unhappier camper when she washed off too much of the stain and lost some of the print. Stupid stain remover!


Incidentally, England were playing Chile and the score ended up being 9-8. England lost. The most bizarre thing was that the commentators/ground announcers were Aussies. They were the best thing about the whole event. There were Aussie mannerisms and quotes that the real Polo fans probably found to be uncultured. The rest of us loved the commentary. It provided some much needed colour to the proceedings. Thankfully, the weather was great so that at least kept the whole thing tolerable. I also kept trying to treat it as a nice day out in the park (a really crowded one) while having a picnic with some friends. Next time you want to get me out for a picnic, don’t make me go to a Polo match
At the conclusion of the match, countless people from the stands decided they would rip off the Cartier sponsor signs from the border around the field and take them home as souvenirs. These weren’t small signs mind you. I’m sure we’ve all seen sponsor signs at events. Yeah, them big ones. Very classy, people.
The journey back to London was comparatively speedy, apart from having to hunt for a cab that would take us away from the ground at a reasonable price. It also took us longer than we expected because they cancelled one of the London bound trains and we had to wait an extra half hour. Normally this would have been Ian-long-whinge-blog-post worthy in itself, but it paled in comparison to the rest of the day. So I wasn’t too fussed about this bit apart from the fact we were almost an hour late for dinner with my cousins in Chinatown (sorry guys, now you know why we were late).
I’m not saying I won’t ever go back to the Polo. Maybe I’ll give the “sport of kings” another chance…once my helicopter’s back from being serviced.